Traces of Pink Piddy Paws

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1 .0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as • Romance 9.5 and
• Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs , such as

• F1 5.0,
• Motors TV 3.0 and
• World Rally Championship 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

• Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind,
• Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
• Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. • If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . • Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend • Cooking 3.0 and
• Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

I’m a proud MOMMA!
That’s right, you read correctly.
I have a new baby.
A bright, shiny PINK little baby.

hee….hee…. remember waaay back when and I became a POD person with my first crackberry purchase?

Even back then I lamented that it wasn’t Pink.
And now… now… LOOK!
Even better?

My new company is footing the bill.
That’s right, it’s a company paid phone AND service.
Hello…Verizon Wireless.

SUH-WEET!

I’m loving my new job.

Pink Crackberry and half-naked guy parading around to get my attention.
It’s awesome.

For the record, this in not Kitteh who is writing this entry. Come to think of it, I would very much like to keep my identity private.

Kind of like protect the innocent type of a thing, except I am not nearly that innocent. But I sometimes pretend to be.

Here is the story. The dirty, the nasty story.

You see, I have difficulties with trust. I either don’t trust. Or on occasion when I do, I look for tell-tell signs as to why I shouldn’t. But most importantly I am very selective as to whom I trust and why. Given the facts I should also say that I am very protective over my heart. It’s the only one I have and lets just face it, its been broken before and I can not afford additional breakage to this blood pumping muscle of mine. So I am very self-conscious.

These days my heart has been telling me stuff. It has been telling me that the person I love so dearly (she/he/it) may not be quite worth the love. I’ve been snooping, not a good thing I know, but I needed to assure myself that this time my heart was wrong and I was being a self conscious and untrusting for no reason. Not a valid one at least. But I don’t think so. I think my heart may be right on the money again.

You see, my partner, this she/he/it person, was in a committed relationship like most adults in this world have been. And she/he/it lost the spark from the old relationship and things ended blah blah blah. All that being said, here I am taking over the position of the last partner as the new partner. But you see my she/he/it person has been having meetings with this old fling of theirs. The only way I find out is when there are weird pictures posted on her/his/its facebook. Or in a conversation she/he/it will slip out that there was an event and miraculously enough the ex and she/he/it went there together.

Not cool. Not cool at all. As a matter of a fact the cool effect on my heart hits dangerous levels of ouch.

So here I am, heavily in love with my she/he/it person and fearful that I am making the mistake of my life and this person may not be worth my love at all. You see, my story doesn’t end just there. I have evidence, don’t ask me how I have obtained them (I have my sources), that she/he/it is flirting with many others. My idea of flirting consists of happy hour drinks, and reconnecting with additional more flings, and then the whole nine yards.

Now I don’t want you to think that I am an unreasonable person and if a person dates me they have to end their social life and just be mine. No, on the contrary. I think my she/he/it people should have friends, lots of friends. What bothers me and hurts me immensely is that these “friendships” are in hiding. And if I did not have my sources I would go on and naively pour a mixture of vinegar, salt, and cumin into my heart.

But wait! WAIT! There is one additional thing. When the subject of breaking up has been presented it has been fought with great demand that it is not the correct decision.

So what does one do? Go on and pretend to be blind? Bring it to her/his/its attention and reveal my sources? Or look for other prospects, and leave when an ideal candidate has been identified?

I do not know the answer to the question my darlings. And that is exactly why I turn to you.

On closing thoughts I love this she/he/it person dearly. I dislike being alone. I am ready to be in a committed relationship and I am done with pointless flings that go nowhere. And I immensely hate the feeling of being hurt, taken advantage of and disrespected.

What do you think?!