Your opinion — I needz it!!!
Okay… so this is an ongoing “topic” between myself and Ranger.
Remember that whole “Have a date w/o having sex” conversation a while back??
Well — *HE* insists that because we didn’t have sex on the 1st date… *that* counts…
I say — No.. it doesn’t.. because it was a FIRST DATE……
+++++++++++
What do *YOU* think???
hmmmm…..???
kurious kittehs want to know……!!!!
I don’t know. My husband messed with my scruples. I slept with him on the second unofficial date. I personally would wait til he shows his true colors, then decide. Look what happens when you don’t? lol
***Oh.. that’s not the question/issue at hand. the thing was “can we/ would we have a date that doesn’t involve sex” and his response is that we did that on the first date already.. ha.ha.ha…
I agree w/ you because a first date is a first date. That being said I’ve had sex on first dates so I guess it could go both ways.
*** See.. a first date is a first date… it doesn’t count as a “Date w/o sex” because you are still getting to know the person well enough to decide if you WANT to have sex with them…. afterwards… then you can start looking at whether or not you can go on a date w/o sex… ha.ha.ha…
Nope it doesnt count. Its like you talking to someone at the grocery store and him expecting you to jump his bones. You dont sleep with everyone you meet. So why should the first date count. That was Introduction.
So no it doesnt count. And you can tell him I said that too.
****Ha..ha..ha.. I will babe….. hee..hee…
no. definately doesn’t count. it is the first date rule.
I’m thinking it is probably hard for you to withhold it as well right know. it would be a challenge for both of you really.
****Well….. I would have to agree with that actually. I LIKE having sex with the man.. but there is a part of my brain that says “we should make sure this is more than just physical” ha..ha..ha…
That’s all up to you Kitty. If you’re asking for a date without sex and he’s complaining then you might be falling into the boottie call category.
****That’s not the point Mike… the point is — does the first date count ??? I wouldn’t say he’s “complaining” so much as saying that we’ve HAD a date w/o sex. ha.haha…. I disagree.. hence.. the POLL….
I think the first date doesn’t count. No one expects to have sex the first time they meet. Sometimes it happens, true, but it’s not usually a given. So, no, it doesn’t count as a sexless date.
I have had relationships in which we have gone out 3 or 4 times without sex, until we do and then it goes on from there. And I have also had sex on the first date. and move from there as well. There’s no guarantees. First date really depend.
***I totally don’t think the first date counts. I mean…it’s a meeting just to see if you even WANT to spend more time with this person or run screaming for the hills. It’s only AFTER the first date that you can truly start “counting” because that must mean there is some interest from both parties. ha..ha.ha…
Jeez, you must be good… to be having this conversation…
Perhaps you should be viewing it from the perspective of… you have the power to make this man beg. And, with great power comes great responsibility…
Besides, you were bitching and moaning, not too long ago I might add, about the cobwebs…
****I must be good to be having this conversation? Oh please… DO CLARIFY that statement Aussie Boy.
And trust me.. there is not “withholding” or “making the man beg” going on for my part… it’s just a philosophical question that we are bantering back and forth. You know… CONVERSATION… crazy as that sounds! ha..ha..ha…
As for the “bitching and moaning”.. you are right… BUT I also wasn’t actively PURSUING a dating life. Now I am… but I won’t deny that I did my fair share of bitching and moaning then… now i mostly just moan… ha.ha…
Ok, let me spin it around a little?
I met my husband at a bar, we spent the evening together (no sex). But, we had sex on our first official date. So does that mean that it didn’t count and we didn’t really have sex on the first date?
I hope you get where I’m coming from? So I think I’m saying, yes the first date *does* count.
****Hmmm….. I’m thinking about it Sparkle… I really am… I think –from MY perspective — I went into the first date with no intention of having sex. I’m just not a “sex on the first date” kind of girl…therefore – to me — it doesn’t count. Whereas Ranger would have sex on the first date, happily, so to HIM it DOES count. hmmm……
Yes. First date counts. Someone’s trying to rationalize…
****Ahhh.. but WHICH one of us is trying to rationalize Michael?? Him? or Me? ha…ha.ha…..
First date doesn’t count – but I’m not a good one to judge because I slept with Scott after 6 hrs…
***Hee..hee… so if you did that.. WHY do you say a 1st date doesn’t count???
Who cares? You enjoy each other… I say live for the moment. If it is just physical enjoy it… if it isn’t, that’s not something you’ll discover just by having a date minus sex.
***Well… *I* care actually. I’m not really interested in a relationship that is not but physical…I want more than that. So yeah, I care. Besides, it’s a fun topic to discuss, because everyone sees it from their own perspective. That being said.. you are right.. a date w/o sex is NOT going to be how I figure it out. It’s just fun to talk about.
That being said…. I’m curious as to your response, given your last blog post…heh..heh..heh…
I’m not sure I understand why anyone would want to go on a date without sex. At least, without sex as a potential. Especially if they enjoy the sex.
***Swoof.. you are way oversexed woman! ha..ha.ha.. So you are saying that sex on the first date is just a “given”.
And.. I’m not saying that we *have* to go on a date w/o sex…I’m just saying that the 1st date doesn’t COUNT as having been on a date w/o sex. ha.ha.ha…
Ahh, I don’t think it counts. The first date should be a given that there be no sex. If you just assume that there will be none. then it’s a whole lot easier to have fun without that expectation stress and possible let down. Personally, I try to never expect it. That way the lady I’m with does not have to deal with that feeling of uncomfortable (need/want coming from me) and then there is no feeling of obligation or whatever from her.
Don’t know if that is what you wanted or not, but I did say I don’t think it counts at least.
Good Luck!
***Brian.. I want you to say whatever it is that YOU think about the subject, silly! I mean.. if I wanted you to just regurgitate MY opinion, then I wouldn’t be asking for yours, now would I? ha..ha.ha….
Hehehe… I never said in that post that I’d actually turn down sex from any of these girls that are offering me their phone numbers. I just don’t think I’d want a relationship with them…
totally different!!! 
****Ah-Ha…. therein lies the difference.. I’m talking about a “relationship situation” ha..ha.ha..
Tough call. First date only counts if you decide it does. Everybody is different and neither answer is really wrong. (don’t you hate that cop out answer? I do.) So is it being bratty to demand a sex free outing to determine if there’s anything more than sex? Or is it bratty to demand sex every time or I’m outta here, that’s my question.
***I don’t think it’s bratty — but as it’s been pointed out (and I agree) I don’t think a sex free outing will actually *prove* that it’s more than just physical. This is a great topic of conversation it would seem!..ha.ha.ha..
Well, actually yes. I’ve never ruled out sex just because it’s a ‘first’ date. If I want to, I do.
But especially after the sex has already been had, I guess I just don’t understand why NOT having it should be a goal. I’m unclear as to why having sex and enjoying sex means that the relationship isn’t a relationship.
My head hurts.
***Awwww..don’t hurt your pretty little head Swoof.. hee.hee…hee…. !! At this point, with Ranger, it’s not that I’m ruling OUT sex on a date, so much as it is the philosophical question of whether or not the first date counts as a date w/o sex. A purely physical relationship is not the same as a fully “involved” relationship and I’m definitely a “fully involved” kind of gal. Honestly though.. I can’t keep my hands off the man (yeah.. he was right about that.. .) but I like arguing the principal. *giggle*
I think that if you want to have a relationship not based on sex, you need to have dates where you don’t have sex. I also think that the first date was a meeting of two strangers to see if anything was there that you would want to pursue. So the fact that you didn’t have sex with a total stranger doesn’t make it a sex free date.
***See… I don’t necessarily agree that there need to be dates w/o sex .. I don’t think that proves anything really. but I *DO* agree that the first date is a meeting of strangers and that by not having sex on the first date it DOESN’T count as a date w/o sex when you are further along in the relationship! Spot on Sheila!!!
Okay, and now, after reading the comments, I feel like a slut LOL.
*****Uhhhh.. you married the guy didn’t you? That automatically excludes you from “slut” status… ha.ha.ha… !
Kitty–I say go one a date with painful, outrageous flirting. And, if he wants to come along, then he better get with the program! First date does not count. You were woman enough to put up–now he needs to be man enough to shut. Little romance and conversation never hurt anyone….much.~~Dee
***Ahhh…the man in question has said that he would go on such a date.. with much …sighing.. on his part, of course. I’m not sure we’ll actually manage it though.. ha.ha.ha….
I think if you go nine minutes without doing it that it counts.
***Nine minutes??? Wow Mr. U… you are way overestimating yourself… last time it was only 30 seconds.