Q & A (not the same as T & A)
Okay — apparently many of you have noticed that Ranger is posting comments on my blog.
And — apparently — he’s quite the popular guy with you.
Soooooo…here’s your chance!!
I’m putting him on the spot.
(Hey, he’s bored out of his mind right now anyway!)
You have questions???
He has answers.
Ask away folks…. ask away!! 
(hi honey…hope you don’t mind…ha..ha..ha…)
+++++++++++++++++++++
(picture of the famous “Circus Cake” courtesy of Ranger’s sister!)
I’m going to kick things off with a question that Dee @ sexywhispers asked “The Marine” recently:
So Ranger, here’s my question —
“What is it like to be a man?”
Hi Ranger! I’m sure Scott will have a question later when he gets home, but MY question is this:
If a guy has to choose between having sex with two, extremely well endowed beautiful women, and owning the car of his dreams, which does he choose?
OH, and one more –
If a wife made sure that her husband got laid by TWO women at the same time, does she earn “Wife of the year” status, and shouldn’t she get her romantic fantasies carried out?
Okay, I’m done…for now
Well, I’m sleep deprived, so I can’t come up with any naughty questions. *sniffle* But I do have a very G-rated one:
Ranger, does Kitty have a favorite phrase?
Kitty – you also, of course, need to comment on this. Let’s see if it matches up!
Tee hee…
Having never blogged before, I am not sure how I am supposed to do this.I guess I just answer them as they come in…
Dee: What is it like to be a man?
Nothing like a broad, open ended question to start things off.
My first instinct is to jokingly rephrase the question to “What is it like to be THE man?”
Which, in and of itself, is telling.
Being a man, for me, is a lot of trying to appear solid, in control, and strong…even when I am in uncharted territory.
Much of what I learned about being a man, I learned from my dad. He is also a large guy, so it has been drilled into me that it is my responsibility to put others at ease in my presence. People’s first reaction to me is fear. I try to be funny and as non threatening as I can… in my personal life.
Do you take your work shoes off before you walk into your house (or Kitty’s)?
Do you always face the door in restaurants?
OK, that was two, but they’re related.
Randi: If a guy has to choose between having sex with two, extremely well endowed beautiful women, and owning the car of his dreams, which does he choose?
Wow. Are there a lot of guys that have to make that choice? I cannot imagine a scenario where that would be an either/or…
I’d go with the beautiful women. 99% of the internet is not devoted to pictures of guys driving Ferarris for a reason.
If a wife made sure that her husband got laid by TWO women at the same time, does she earn “Wife of the year” status, and shouldn’t she get her romantic fantasies carried out?
She earns wife of the century.
In theory she should, but guys are funny. Archie Bunker got mad when somebody else sat in his CHAIR.
Pug Mom: does Kitty have a favorite phrase?
Favorite? She has recurring ones. “It’s TWOO! It’s TWOOOOOOOO!” from Blazing Saddles springs to mind.
Finn: Do you take your work shoes off before you walk into your house (or Kitty’s)?
Do you always face the door in restaurants?
No on the shoes. I wear boots with various dangerous things strapped to them. Once they are on, they stay on.
I do remove my non work shoes at Kitty’s, though.
Yes, I am more comfortable facing the door. I also prefer having my back against a wall.
This one’s from Scott: “what would it take for you to get jealous of Kitty and punch a guy?”
and
“How do you deal with the violence you see day in and day out due to your job?”
Randi: “what would it take for you to get jealous of Kitty and punch a guy?”
I wouldn’t. Kitty is a full grown, autonomous human being. She is in my life because she wants to be. I am in hers because I want to be, and she graciously allows it. There is not much I could do, other than be good to her, to forestall that event. Jealousy would be too little, too late.
“How do you deal with the violence you see day in and day out due to your job?”
I don’t see that much violence. I see the after effects of it. I deal with it through gallows humor on the scene, and dehumanizing it. What makes a person is their soul, and it has moved on. What’s left behind is just a shell.
Ranger–Great answer (although I do admit to an eye brow raise at the first attempt at humor! You are right and very intelligent for realizing the humor would be very telling.) You and The Marine would get along just fine!
Now that you are not a blog virgin anymore, lets get down to a question (2 part): 1–do you feel stereotyped to behave in a certain way due to your job? 2–I reserve the right to ask upon meeting you and getting some adult beverages at the table!
Welcome to our blogverse…..~~Dee
Dee: do you feel stereotyped to behave in a certain way due to your job?
No, not really. I don’t do certain things, but I’m not predisposed to do those things anyway. For example, I don’t drink to excess. If I have more than 3 beers, I’m not going anywhere…and they’re Coors Lights, anyway. Gatorade has a higher alcohol content.
Finn: Do you take your work shoes off before you walk into your house (or Kitty’s)?
It has been pointed out to me that this was not a “literal” question.
I think I do. You would have to ask Kitty.
I asked because my husband will not wear his work shoes into our home. Ever.
Lessee, what shall I ask…
Okay, how do you actually feel about cats? – because believe me, if a boyfriend doesn’t get on with your cat, it’s never good …
Also, would you dress up like a Viking in public if Miss Pink Paws asked you to (as that’s a major part of her history)?
Finn: I can’t tell if that is a good thing or a bad thing, in your eyes.
What I can tell you is that 99% of the people I encounter are smack dab in the middle of the worst day of their lives. Nobody has their best face on, and it is very easy to fall into thinking that this is what people are.
If he doesn’t wear his work shoes in the house, it may be that you are his link to a “normal” outlook on people and he doesn’t want to corrupt it.
Pug Mom — my favorite phrase would have to be “What’s up buttercup?” but to give Ranger credit, I *do* use “It’s twoo…. it’s twoo…” a lot as well.
Finn — wait… so you really WERE talking about his shoes? I’m confused. ha..ha.ha.. I could have sworn you were asking if he brought his work “home” with him.
Oops!
Also, it’s funny but I think *I’m* more aware of where he sits in public. When we are seated, I’ll see *the look* pass across his face that indicates he’s unhappy with the table choice. I’ve gone so far as to ask to be seated elsewhere so that HE is more happy. But HE has never asked to be moved or made a fuss about where we/he sits.
Scott (and Randi) -– stop trying to get Ranger to agree to share me with you two.. ha..ha.ha.. !
I’m fairly new to Kitty’s blog, so I’ll ask a “newbie” question: What is it you do exactly, i.e. what does a ranger do?
Note to Kitty: I’ve tagged you for a short meme…
Gwen: Okay, how do you actually feel about cats?
Love cats. Adore cats. I start every day by visiting icanhazcheezburger and Get Fuzzy. My favorite movie is “Milo and Otis”. I have a blonde tiger named Harley that always makes me smile. And the best friend I ever had was a black guy named “Dedos”. There are 2 framed photos of him on my mantle, almost a year since his death. Squeaker seems to understand that I have no interest in eating her and has allowed me to pet her on occasion.
Also, would you dress up like a Viking in public if Miss Pink Paws asked you to (as that’s a major part of her history)?
If asked, I would, but I don’t think she’d ask. I have dressed up as a pirate, Bud Man, and an inflatable chicken in public. Not on Halloween, but just because I thought it was funny.
Stinky paw: what does a ranger do?
At the moment, a Ranger does a lot of nothing. He’s stuck at home after surgery.
In a broader sense, the U.S. Army Rangers are a light infantry unit in the Special Operations Command, specializing in quick strike operations suck as airfield seizures, hostage rescue, and precision attacks.
Blackhawk Down in Somolia. The rescue of Jessica Lynch. Grenada. Panama.
This particular Ranger works as a police officer for a large metropolitan department.
Hi Ranger,
Um, let’s see my question would be if Ms. Kitty were to kick you to the curb would you consider taking refuge in the arms of a cougar to mend your broken heart? *Big Smile*
Queen: Funny thing. At my age, “cougars” are just women I might have gone to high school with.
Is there a corresponding term for the male version? “Dirty Old Man” doesn’t count…
OH MY GOD! I want to run over and hug Ranger! You poor thing. Bad Kitty….bad…..bad…bad…But hey someone had to do it.
So I can ask him anything? I mean ANYTHING? Like even the forbidden questions? Really?! How cool.
So tell me Mr. Ranger, what is your deepest and darkest secret?
All right Ranger, I’ve got two questions for ya:
1. My best friend just called and is worried because her brother is being deployed to Afghanastan in October – I’m not quite sure WHAT he does, but apparently he makes bombs…he’s in the national guard. What can I say to her to make her feel a bit better about the situation?
2. What’s your favorite sexual position? (Hey, Kitty said we could ask ANYTHING)
Mistress M: So tell me Mr. Ranger, what is your deepest and darkest secret?
When I was 21, I did a spread for Playgirl. And I do mean “spread”. Opened up my buttcheeks and everything. You never heard about it because I did it under the name “Mike Hondo”.
Okay, I swiped that from “Talledega Nights”…
My big bad is one of those things that I keep for me.
Randi: 1. My best friend just called and is worried because her brother is being deployed to Afghanastan in October – I’m not quite sure WHAT he does, but apparently he makes bombs…he’s in the national guard. What can I say to her to make her feel a bit better about the situation?
You can tell her that her brother is a professional. He is among the best in the world at what he does. Statistically, he is safer there than he is in Washington D.C. after dark. And he still has an administration backing him that actually believes in what he is doing and cares if he comes home or not.
2. What’s your favorite sexual position?
Easy answer… the one where I am present for the activities!
I have to get the okay from Kitty before I answer with any more detail.
Been told that details are okay.
Me on bottom, her on top. The view is spectacular, and I am inherently lazy.
Ranger doll, been thinking all day of a question, coming up blank.
Coke or Pepsi?
Light on or light off?
Pc or Mac?
Boxers or brief? (oh wait ,we know that one)
Thanks again for yesterday in the comment section
#1
I’m so not good at coming up with questions. Plus, I feel like I know all the important stuff …
I know that you are un-married, gainfully employed, and mature. You have a good sense of humor. You kill spiders on demand and you appear to be letting Squeaker bond with you at her own time and pace. You seem to make Cinn happy and she seems to make you happy.
Knowing the complexity and fierceness that is Cinn, I know that you have to be a pretty strong personality yourself to hold her interest.
So, instead of questions, I’ll just send you a “Welcome to the Zoo, Dude.” ;=)
Philly:
Coke or Pepsi? Milk
Light on or light off? Soft, indirect light
Pc or Mac? PC, but I don’t have an informed opinion.
Boxers or brief? Boxer briefs by Under Armor
Hi Ranger!
Kitty has mentioned you have a few brothers. any single ones around their mid 20s to early 30s?
also do police officers show bias toward age or type of vehicle driven when pulling someone over for speeding?
Oooh good one Jaye! I also want to know if having out of state license plates makes you a good target to get pulled over, and if the whole “meeting your quota” thing is real!
awwwww – you guys are too freakin cute!
Lady Jaye: do police officers show bias toward age or type of vehicle driven when pulling someone over for speeding?
Nope. Just speed.
Randi:I also want to know if having out of state license plates makes you a good target to get pulled over, and if the whole “meeting your quota” thing is real!
We have to have a reason to pull you over. We can’t just stop a car because it is “suspicious”.
We don’t have a quota. We are allowed to write as many as we want!
Hi Ranger. Sorry to hear about the surgeries. My husband has had shoulder & knee done in the last 8 years or so. I generally refer to him as ‘Captain America’ because he works out so much & is so active (read hyper). He’s recently been on a profile (active duty military, means he can’t do his regular job because of injury) due to two bulging discs in his lower back. But he’s getting better – back to working on his jets and hitting people with sticks (yeah, we do that too, that’s how I met her). So I sympathize with you and Kitteh, knowing what it’s like to have to a)be the active person who’s laid low by surgery and b)putting UP with the person….
Uh…just realized I don’t really have a question. You seem like a great guy & you make her happy, so I’ve been rooting for you & don’t really need to ‘test’ you by asking silly questions. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Okay, well, admittedly, not what you are doing _right now_. I want you to get better & do other things….
Hopefully, the Thunderbirds will have another air show near Georgia next year. Hubby missed this one due to his profile & we wanted to visit. Will try again.
Of course, you guys could always come to Vegas in November for the big Thunderbird show on Veterans Day weekend. There! That’s my question!
Would you bring Kitteh to Vegas in November to visit & see the Air Show?
I’m having fun with this one! You’ve been shrouded in mystery for so long that this is highly enjoyable!
What is the one meal that reminds you the most of your childhood?
Julie: Vegas might be tough. Getting time off after 6 weeks at home might be a tough sell to my sergeants. Never been to Vegas, though.
Randi:What is the one meal that reminds you the most of your childhood?
Circus cake. Not a meal, per se, but a very fond culinary memory.
Gwen — He’s right. I wouldn’t ask him to dress up and go to an event. It’s been discussed and the realization is that it’s not his bag and I don’t want my *worlds to collide* as it were.
Queen — ha..ha.ha… haven’t even met him and you are already trying to tempt him away. For shame you hussy! What would your hubby think?
MissM — well.. yeah, duh!
LadyJaye — actually he DOES!
and I see he avoided answering that one. ha..ha.ha..
Ranger & Randi — actually babe, you told me that you *did* have a certain number of STOPS/INTERACTIONS you had to make. Just not a certain number of tickets to write.
Julie — Oh babe.. I’m so sorry to hear about Jim!!! That sucketh mightily.
Hope he gets better. November huh? I’ll have to check my calendar. Nothing to say I can’t fly solo, right? 
Miss you bunches!
Ranger….is Larry the Landlord as hot as I imagine?
What size boots do you wear?
Lefty or Righty?
Do you eat jelly ontop of your grill cheese samdwiches.
its the new fad, ya know.
peace
#2
This one’s from Scott, “Is it okay for a cop to speed in an unmarked car, ‘just because he can’?”
And his second question: “now that you’re in a cast, who’s pulling up your pants?!”
(disclaimer: Scott had finger surgery before I met him that left him w/o the use of his left hand for awhile, so that is a question from someone who knows what it’s like to be laid up LOL)
Hi there Ranger! When you’re done here – can you come post on my blog. I’m feeling tired and you’re doing so well at it.
Okay, question. Let’s think! I love your Pink Piddy Paws – she’s the best. What’s your favorite thing about her?
Sista #2: is Larry the Landlord as hot as I imagine?
Not really my type. A little to old for me. Plus, he has a penis.
What size boots do you wear?
11.5 or 12, depending on the boot.
Lefty or Righty?
Lefty
Do you eat jelly ontop of your grill cheese samdwiches
Grilled cheese sammiches are da DEVIL!
Not a fan.
Randi/Scott: “Is it okay for a cop to speed in an unmarked car, ‘just because he can’?”
Yes. We are very important and have places to be.
Seriously, though, it is one of the “perks” We get pulled over, but we generally don’t get the ticket.
Unfair? Maybe. However, chances are you won’t get fired or reprimanded at work for getting a ticket in your personal car. We can, and do.
And his second question: “now that you’re in a cast, who’s pulling up your pants?!”
I have to put a lot of thought into what I wear. Elastic waistbands are my friend right now.
Kitty
What happens in blog stays in blog lmao
****Wait… what?? I thought that was VEGAS!! ha..ha.ha….. *****
WOW! I’m late to the game but I got here as fast as I could. First, hello Ranger, nice to meet you. You sure have been a sport answering all these questions from people you don’t know. They’ve been very enlightening. Here’s mine:
Superman, Batman or Spiderman?
Do you open the car door for Kitty when she’s getting in and getting out?
Who owned the gas station where Goober and Gomer worked?
How handy are you? Can you use power tools and fix stuff?
Thanks,
Disa
Very Very Very clever. You see, what Kitty forgot to tell you is that when I ask a question I really mean it. And when I dont get the answer I pick fights. Regardless how big the guy is. And as far as I am concerned Kitty promised me that you would answer anything I (we) ask. Now…..Let me say this calmly because I know where you live and I sure as hell know where you sleep.
Deepest….darkest….secret! NOW!
And dont call Kitty either. She cant save you.
***ha..ha.ha.. Actually MissM, I played your voicemail for him last night! The whole “i know where you live, I know where you sleep” thing freaked him out a bit.. I think! ha..haha.. He might be a teensy bit afraid of you now!
***
WOW,,, lots of comments, all because of Ranger
#1
***I know.. apparently it’s not ME that people are interested in.. it’s my boyfriend.
So Ranger what made you decide to become a cop? maria.
Lefty? Really? I think that makes three.
ok I thought of another ? maybe a few =)P ( after many cups of coffee) Kitty I love it that you make Ranger use his powers for good lol ( I couldn’t resist making that joke)
Why do men tell you that “its not you its them? ” when they dump you.
Why do they want you to tell them when things are bothering you, but they push you away when things bother them.
And why the hell are men so freaking complicated??
Clarifications please?
Coors Lights, anyway. Gatorade has a higher alcohol content.???? Then what?
An inflatable chicken??? Story please, and pictures…
What is circus cake?
What would you do to surprise Kitty with a romantic evening or weekend? (places, not necessary graphic details)
Disa: Superman, Batman or Spiderman?
Coolest? Batman.
Would rather be? Superman.
Do you open the car door for Kitty when she’s getting in and getting out?
Pretty often, up until I got hurt.
Who owned the gas station where Goober and Gomer worked?
I honestly don’t know.
How handy are you? Can you use power tools and fix stuff?
Yes, I am fairly handy. You wouldn’t want to live in something I built, but I can hang a mean towel rack.
Maria: what made you decide to become a cop?
I had gotten laid off from a middle management office job. I had a good severance and didn’t work for about a year. Toward the end of that year, I realized that I had not, even once, daydreamt about how cool it would be to be a middle manager in an office.
Maria: Why do men tell you that “its not you its them? ” when they dump you.
It is a clumsy attempt to spare your feelings. Would it be better if he said, “it isn’t me. I’m great. You, on the other hand, are f’n nuts. And your mom stole my wallet.”
We are used to being blamed for things, so we try to take the bullet.
Why do they want you to tell them when things are bothering you, but they push you away when things bother them.
LOL… because we NEED you to tell us what is bothering you. We don’t know. We don’t know if it is something WE did, your boss did, your manicurist did, or if it is just… you know…
With guys, it is probably pretty straightforward. We will quickly begin bitching about whatever it is that is bugging us (which means we have already resolved the issue and are now just letting off steam)…unless it is you. At which point, we just keep our own counsel. No sense being upset AND in trouble.
And why the hell are men so freaking complicated.
Men are pretty easy and simple. You just have to know the motivations.
Trixie: What would you do to surprise Kitty with a romantic evening or weekend?
I am smart enough to ask ahead of time. My ideas of what would be ossim sometimes differ greatly from hers.
Safer to ask.
Ranger, on August 6th, 2008 at 10:02 am Said:
Maria: Why do men tell you that “its not you its them? ” when they dump you.
It is a clumsy attempt to spare your feelings. Would it be better if he said, “it isn’t me. I’m great. You, on the other hand, are f’n nuts. And your mom stole my wallet.”
We are used to being blamed for things, so we try to take the bullet.
Actually if you said that it would be awesomely refreshing and HONEST>
Trixie:
An inflatable chicken??? Story please, and pictures…
No pictures of that. My brother bought an inflatable chicken costume at a Halloween store. I decided to run my errands in it one day during the following summer. I got a lot of amused looks…
What is circus cake?
See page 1. My sister provided a photo. My grandmother made them for our birthdays. It is a happy, comforting memory for me, and really takes me back.
Coors Lights, anyway. Gatorade has a higher alcohol content.???? Then what?
This ties into my deepest, darkest. I had a personal tragedy that I blamed myself for. I am not proud to say that I became a drunk for about a year.
Since I snapped out of it, Coors Light is the hardest thing I’ll drink. I haven’t been hammered out drunk since that time, about 19 years ago.
Two for one! Sufficient, Mistress?
Trixie: What would you do to surprise Kitty with a romantic evening or weekend?
I am smart enough to ask ahead of time. My ideas of what would be ossim sometimes differ greatly from hers.
Safer to ask.
I should clarify this…
I vacationed as a kid at FDR State Park. I loved it! I suggested a weekend, and threw this out as a possible destination.
Turns out, Kitty has been there more recently than I. It isn’t that pleasant anymore. If I had tried to surprise her and took her there, it would have been a disaster.
hehehe actually I was wondering why gatorade (which tastes nasty, I think) had more alcohol than coors light (which also tastes nasty.)
And the circus cake is sweet.
I was in New Orleans this June and this poor guy was dressed up in an inflatable hand grenade bless his heart.